Resistance (Part 1)
I was about 40 miles into the 112-mile bike portion of a triathlon when I heard the most absurd but eventually helpful words, “I think your brake is rubbing.” I was incredulous, how could I be accused of doing something so stupid. How could I ride for over 2 hours with my brakes partially on during a race and not notice?
Well… I listened a bit more carefully and then in a moment of pure embarrassment and anger at myself, I stopped and adjusted my brake and that noise stopped and my bike went faster.
The brake wasn’t on much but it was resistance I didn’t want.
One of the tricky things about resistance is that it is a fickle friend and shows up in weird ways and we seem surprised by it more than we should.
For example, this morning I met resistance a few times while getting ready to write this post. Today it showed up as “Facebook” and for some reason it seemed really important for me to write birthday wishes and check on friends.
Resistance comes in the form of both a nemesis and also as friend that I gladly choose to spend time with.
Over the next few blog entries I want to share with you how to identify resistance but, more importantly, some steps you can take to overcome resistance in your life.
Whether you are choosing to parent differently, enforce some family values, make better use of your time, or exercise – you meet resistance. Resistance doesn’t show up in the status quo; it appears when things are changing.
I don’t find resistance when I choose to sleep in – only when I decide to train in the morning. I don’t find resistance when I say “yes” to everyone – only when I choose to carefully choose my commitments. I don’t find resistance when I decide to go on Facebook – only when I try to tackle a difficult job at work.
Resistance comes when we decide to do hard things, so we shouldn’t be surprised when it shows up.
So many of us quit when things get difficult because we are somehow surprised that it is so hard. I want to tell you as parents that you should expect a lot of resistance as you work to be a stronger parent and really serve your kids. Don’t take it as a sign that you are doing something wrong; take it as a sign that you are doing something right.
When your kid starts pushing back, your life seems full of dread, and everything seems hard…there is a great chance that you are doing the right thing.
Rather than quitting, this is the time to take action and put resistance in its place – but first, expect resistance and greet it for what it is.