Resistance (Part 2)
In the first part of this series on resistance I focused on how resistance shows up whenever we are trying to change. Today we are going to focus on the first of four steps to overcoming resistance.
Before we get started, I’m basing these steps on podcast #44 by Michael Hyatt who also used the work of Steven Pressfield. (I recommend Pressfield’s book, “The War of Art.”) Both of these resources are focused on helping business and creative people but I really think the greatest application is for parents because we experience so much resistance.
Resistance is so strong sometimes that I don’t even start. This is tax season and there have been years in which I kept putting off my taxes because I was afraid of the results and I just didn’t want to begin. I also knew that all my documents were disorganized and there was information they needed that I didn’t know. So I just put it off even though I needed to get it done. Fear kept me from starting and as a parent fear keeps us from starting a lot of things that would be helpful but are hard to start.
Something as foundational as teaching your kids about money by an allowance or “commission” seems important but starting can be really hard because there are several basic decisions to make. Decisions like, how much money? When? How can they spend it? When will you buy stuff for them? Can they give the entire amount to their sister when she asks?
And so our girls are five and we still haven’t started helping them earn their own money.
Fear resists us in many different ways and shows up before we even start. So how to overcome resistance at the start of the project is to START. Fear is weakened once you start. Rather than focusing on results, focus on breaking the project into little steps and get started. In fact, start with the easy stuff first which helps build momentum.
As a parent we can “what if” ourselves into procrastination, but in reality, we need to just start. Once we start, we often learn that things aren’t has hard as we thought they’d be, and that with action comes capability.
Yesterday my girls both learned to ride their bikes without training wheels. The hardest part is getting moving. Once they are moving it is easy to balance but when stopped, it feels uncomfortable and scary.
So whether you want to start to communicate better, set family values, change how your family uses technology, or simply start family worship…the best step you can take is to start.
In my next post we will focus on how to overcome resistance during the middle of changing.