Do I Have Thinking Errors?
Thinking errors are used to distort reality to make it fit with current momentary desires. It is just human nature to try to stay comfortable. When people begin to feel uncomfortable, they will often move into some type of thinking pattern that makes them feel better about themselves, others, or life in general. This can be done in an honest, open way, or it can be done through "thinking errors." Here are a few examples of common thinking errors and how they might play out in real life situations:
Blame
- Heather blames Samantha for stealing her pencils out of her backpack, because she does not want to get in trouble for forgetting to bring pencils to class three days in a row.
- Josh blames his dog for eating his homework, because he chose to play a video game instead of doing it, but does not want to get a bad grade in class.
People often blame someone else for problems they have caused because they do not want to suffer consequences. It is best to take responsibility for both your good and bad behaviors. Owning up to your mistakes and faults and making things right when you can will help you to do better in the future. It also increases the level of trust that others have in you, even if you did mess up. Behind this thinking error might be the lie, "I have to be perfect."
Lies as Excuses
- The teacher makes the excuse that she was "feeling sick" last night and that's why the exams are not graded and ready to hand back. In truth, she did have a bit of indigestion, but instead of grading papers, she watched her favorite show on TV and then spent three hours on Facebook before going to bed. She could easily have graded the papers, but wants the students, who are anxious to see their grades, to believe that circumstances were out of her control so they will not be mad at her, but instead feel sorry for her.
It is better to take responsibility and tell the truth. You might be surprised how understanding others can be. Behind this thinking error might be the lie, "I must have approval from others."
"I'm a Saint" or "Poor Me" Mentality
- When Bradley was confronted about the mess he left in the garage after working on his car, he immediately stated that he was too busy with choir practice and running Bible study groups to get to that until later.
- When Cynthia was asked to clean the mess she'd left in the kitchen after baking cookies to take to youth group, she burst into tears and admitted that no matter how hard she tries to do something good, she manages to mess it up somehow.
These are examples of "saint" or "I can do no wrong" thinking (Bradley) and "poor me, I am bad" thinking (Cynthia). The best response would be to own the responsibility for making the mess and for a timely cleanup. The lie, "Your worth is based on your performance" might be behind these thinking errors.
To Learn More...
These are just a few examples of common thinking errors. But thinking errors don't come out of nowhere; behind thinking errors are lies that we believe about ourselves, the world, our relationships, and God. A good book to read if you want to understand more about thinking errors, the lies behind them, and the power of the truth, is "The Lies We Believe" by Dr. Chris Thurman.